Some Call It Crazy Town

I want to share with you one of my mornings with kids....

Just to review: I like to leave the house at about 7:50am.  I try to have both the kids dressed (Scott tries to help with this before he leaves at 7:20) by about 7:40am.  I spend the remaining time hunting down blankets, packing bags, getting the bags into the jeep, securing dogs, locking doors, etc.  

Then, I load the kids into the jeep.

Sometimes all is smooth as a baby's butt.

However, some mornings are straight CRAZY.

Yesterday morning went south when Scout didn't want to make a choice between the two outfit choices.  She just wailed, nooooooooooooooo!  I tried to back off and do other preparations.  Brooke was getting agitated because she was hungry.  So, I decided to give her a bottle.  The entire time I was giving Brooke a bottle, Scout was whining.  It was super annoying.  But, I remained calm.

After I fed Brooke enough bottle to carry her to the childcare venue, I went back to dressing Scout who has been whining, crying, and carrying on for like 15 minutes. She keeps refusing clothing.  I start to think she needs to go pee.  So, I'm asking her about going potty: "noooooooooo!"  I'm asking if she'd rather just have a pullup: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"  There are tears and flailing and kicking.  I can't wrestle a pull up on her, so I just go for the jean wrestle and hope she can hold the pee until we get to the babysitter's house.  I pick her up, toss her over my shoulder, and go to the jeep.  I put her into the backseat literally screaming and crying. Like, I looked around to make sure no neighbors were in earshot to call CPS on me.  I shut her door (hoping she'd not unbuckle herself and run off). I go back in for Brooke.

When I return with Brooke and am loading her into her carseat, I notice that still whining Scout has steam rising from her lap.  It was like 33 degrees out.  So, I knew what had gone down.  And, it was all I could do to not lose it.

I said calmly, you peed your pants didn't you? She said, "Don't say that!!"  I pulled her out and took her drippy drawers off right there.  I threw her back over my shoulder and went into the house.  I held her back down and put another set of clothing on.  I carried her back out to the jeep (kicking and screaming) and literally tossed her into cargo (because her seat was wet and I was starting to boil over).  I backed out of the drive way sort of smiling at reflection in the rearview sitting on top of a comforter in the cargo area.  She didn't know what to think.  She slowed the crying down and said, "I-I-I w-a-a-a-a-nt to s-i-i-t in the b-a-a-a-ckseat."

So, I stopped the car about 10 houses down the street. I got out, put a towel over the peed seat, and buckled her in.  Her hair was an absolute mess. Her face was red and tear stained.  I was hot and sweating in spite of the near freezing temperatures, and my jeep smelled of child urine.

After the drop off of my kids, I took a deep breath and promptly drove to starbucks and ordered a venti latte. 

Grumpy Scout